Taking The Ride

The girls asked why I didn't join the sukantara since I was the one in-charge in recruiting people to run for Rumah Merah last year. I had a hunch that I should not be running this time, even though I wanted to. And my name was not shortlisted. So, why bother volunteer? Hehe. Being a spectator was tiring enough actually. Screaming other people's names, clapping hands till they get reddish, laughing away to see the way people running (forgive me, my bad), aren't that enough to contribute in a sport event? What a calculative girl, ish3.

The rain fell down non-stop on the second day of sukantara. And I was all ready with my yellow jersey and backpack equipped with notes and books to read at the sport field. That was just to my heart content that at least I brought some of the notes so I won't panic seeing my other friends reading theirs too. Hey, at least I managed to read half of Victor's Last Wish. I mean it, half of it. And it's a good thing that I can still remember where did I stop at. Do I? (^_^)

Sleepyheads the way it seemed

***********

The next day I woke up twenty minutes late from the exact night time I slept. But I'm not those athletes who ran, jumped and had difficult time finding substitutes for their events. It was holiday and twelve-hour snooze was a wonderful time for all. Yippee!

I had all the joy in the world till I forget to perform my Subuh prayer that morning. I don't know how to describe how I feel to miss one prayer of the day. Allah knows. And He is Great. He'll give us the most unexpected thing at the most unexpected time.

I had my lunch with Sailu at the cafe like normal and I had a yummy cone ice-cream as my dessert. Who knows it was the last meal I had for the day. Two hours later my tummy screamed like it has never scream before and the pain was unbearable. I walked to the restroom few times, holding my tummy like a two-bodied woman, and gasping for air. Suddenly, there was no air to breathe. I panicked. Something that is very common to me.

There's only one person in mind to call at the moment and I dialed the number. Sailu. She came down from the upper floor and twice to check on me. She massaged my tummy and gave me paracetamol but no differences. She noticed that I was lying down on my right hips and reached to my lappy and start googling. Fortunately I was online at the moment.

"Come, let's go to the clinic."

We left the campus with my laptop on and the last page I seen was;

APPENDICITIS

That's where the ride begins.

***********

Both of us went to the nearest clinic and it was a throbbing moment to hear the doctor said that he could only write a letter and I need to refer it to the general hospital.

The pain that I had get me hospitalised. The procedures were way too complicated. Better not to know about it.


The handwriting looks like my future students' handwriting. No offense miss nurse. At least it is better than mine.



The moment I felt there are other people in the world who really care and concern towards other people. They are the juniors who were supposed to get ready for their final exam spared their time to pay me a visit.

Even the whole girls and boys of the same course as mine were willingly to come and give their endless support towards a helpless friend. The smiles given were more than enough live up the day.



Was wishing to join them in their laughter. Worry not, soon.



Their presence were priceless. The supportive lecturers, Miss Hannah, Madam Ruth, and Miss Angking never missed a day to give me the real insight and words uttered by them made it feels like I'm home.



Alhamdulillah, Glory be to Allah, Praise be to Allah, and Allah is Great, Syukur alhamdulillah for the second chance given to the newly awaken soul and for the doors and windows opened so I can continue to enter them to see the marvels of His beautiful creation and be thankful for the life that I have. I may not get everything I want, but He has given me everything I need.


Peeps, sorry, I'm tired. Will be typing again soon.
This is just little crumbs of the layers of bread and I guess, it wraps up my October post.
Love your life and cherish people around you.
Thank God for everything.

:-)

Allahu Akbar!

Flash

Is it bright where you are, have the people changed, does it make you happy, you're so strange.
And in your darkest hour, I hold secrets flame,
You can watch the world devoured in it's pain.

Never The Wiser

Standing in front of the class with twenty pairs of eyes watching is enough to get me goose-bumped. With no idea what should I talk about, I summarised others' topic and give my own brief and immature thoughts. It has been so many things to think lately. And what we usually think will effect the way we talk, the way we behave, and the way we treat others.

I searched for the answer that I knew all along, leaving a track on my mind that nothing is actually happened when it did happen and I ignorantly putting a pause from thinking about it. My self-esteem is way to low than what it seems. I speak broken language, even in my own mother tongue. Sometimes I just couldn't find the right words to be uttered, and the sentences just enough to get a language teacher a quick retirement from this career. And the slip of the lips is too bad, I mean, real bad.

The nervous breakdown inside me had gone too far. Should I let it stay free of charge and let me to pay all the price of embarrassment and those faces made. The cold jaded eyes really had turn the tied on me. She's no longer the best speaker of the hall. That was when she was in the white shirt and blue skirt era.

Nonsensical things. Need to redeem those confidence back. Feels like Angel now. Trading my own life to get a lost soul. I'm so sorry, it's just the way it's gotta be.

Borderlines

Being alone was never been a problem for me all this while. This weekend seems to reveal another side of me that I never knew of before. It has always be fine to me to be in the room alone as long as I didn't fall asleep as a result of doing nothing. I have this weird habit of couldn't do my work when there's no one in the room. Sigh.

Imagine of not going anywhere for three days in a row and just stay in the four-cornered room all day long while others went out to town. What a peaceful days. Having broadband might have taken the boredom away, and having new-loaded playlist really helps. I mean it. Oh ya, thanks to Kak Chu Are for willingly to have me as her second roommate last night. Haha. I wonder if I didn't travel to her room I might stay in the room and sleep all day long.

The weekend wrapped up with the same intro it had on the last three days. With no more assignments, we're heading for another challenges bigger than before. The only thing differs is that we will not have the chance to re-do or repair our work this time. This upcoming challenge is the only thing which will allows all the dreams to be true - if we managed to complete the challenges in excel.

Great to have a study group with my future flatmates in our way to reach the F-Day. At least, my weekend is not as boring as the way I portrayed it. Hey, I did lots of cleaning, tidying up and renovating too; not only for the room but for my lappy too. I found lots of old discs with the pictures I burnt too, and it reminisces me of my first few months being here. Oh, time really keep to its words.

In less than 15 days, I'll be sitting in the hall with rows of chairs and tables, all being put separately from each other.

God, help me I've come undone..

Out of the light of the sun..

No longer the lost, no longer the same.

Weekend Delicacies

This lazy girl wants to go out but she's too lazy to move from her chair. This is her menu for the weekend. Lol.

(Click on the image to enlarge)

Order can be made F.O.C at liz.yani@gmail.com. Leave a trackback from here is highly appreciated.

:-P

Beneath The Skin

The tadarus session is finally be carried out again. Alhamdulillah. We had put it on hold for over a month as we wanted to give everybody's chance to perform the fasting ibadah in tranquility, without any hustle and bustle of every day's work. Tonight is the night where I feel like it's been so long I have drifted away from the path that I should be hanging tight onto. It could be because I've been doing the recitation alone all this while and only tonight I could hear other voices reciting the same verses, altogether.

We started with Yassin, followed by tazkirah and finally, the tadarus. I'm attracted to the tazkirah given by saudari Riby, about women and what are some of the things we are restrained from. It was a nice topic to be discussed with especially when we girls have get together and everybody seems to throw their opinion about it. We're almost get into a debate session over it.

While in tadarus, I've been told about the recent earthquake which happened in Padang, Indonesia. I would like to take this opportunity to talk about this since my other friends, Wani and Diba have talked about this in their blogs.

Allah is great. I read about the news of the quakes but I never noticed about the time of the quakes occurrence. He has been giving us, the ummat many signs in living the world. But we live in ignorance and seems to forget who we are, day by day.

"When We decide to destroy a population, We (first) send a definite order to those among them who are given the good things of this life and yet transgress; so that the word is proved true against them: then (it is) We destroy them utterly."
(Surah Al-Isra, 17:16)

"(Deeds) after the manner of the people of Pharaoh and of those before them: They rejected the Signs of Allah, and Allah punished them for their crimes: for Allah is Strong, and Strict in punishment"
(Surah Al-Anfaal, 8:52)

And the last signs we ignored;

As the third quakes occurred which was at 1758, Allah has stated in Al-Quran in Al-Isra (17:58)

"There is not a population but We shall destroy it before the Day of Judgment or punish it with a dreadful Penalty: that is written in the (eternal) Record."

*******************************

I am way too far from reading and recite Al-Quran every day, more to say to read the tafsir and understand it. I missed the day when my abah scolded me for my laziness of doing my Al-Quran reading when I was still immature.

Allah gives us 24 hours so we know and able to arrange the time properly in working and remembering Him. But, we choose to stray from His path. Let's get back to where we belong. It is not too late to pray and ask for His guidance. His signs is everywhere. It's in us; to find or to ignore it.

Allahu Akbar!

The Lights Go Out

Since I've gained my independence from the workloads occupation, I know I have a mission to accomplish. Yeah, finally I downloaded Breaking Benjamin's new album, Dear Agony. It was released last September but I didn't have chance to take a deeper look into it and only managed to download only one song which "I Will Not Bow", the same song included in the movie, Surrogates. What a nice coincidence to have my favourite band's song in my all time favourite actor, Bruce Willis. And again, Ben & Bruce, the gorgeous B's. Lol.

The only band who rocks me out 24-7. Couldn't stop listening to their new album.

Wanna go and watch this but the chance is not my side yet. I watched the parts of this movie in "I Will Not Bow" music video. Cool!


Good to have 1G memory-card phone. The Liz.FM playlist is now rocking with latest song of them.

****************

Then, my best friend and I took the opportunity to go out and do our pre-Deepavali shopping in town, since she'll be celebrating Deepavali in few days time. You know what happened when girls go shopping.

As people said Deepavali is not really celebrated here, my eyes view differently. It is also celebrated and remembered by many of us. It may not be as happening as in Semenanjung but I could feel that Indians here are also celebrating it as happening as they want. Maybe because they are the minority here, it doesn't mean we don't have to join them enjoy the celebration. Semangat 1Malaysia bah. :-)

We went to Tun Jugah for lunch and I snapped away this. I think it's pretty cool. I have a close-up one but it's a bit blur so let it be for my eyes only.


Ground floor of Tun Jugah, we're lucky to get to see students of SeGi College made the kollam live in front of us.

It took them 16 hours to complete the colourful and artistic kollam.

I had a good hangout with my best friend and we plan to do the same after she comes back. Happy Deepavali everyone!

Deepavali Valthukel!
:-)

Pick Me Up

My free call bonus ended last night. I was talking to my friend for about 20 minutes or more then our conversation was disconnected. Then I got the service message - with only $0.01 left in balance. I was still hoping to get more bonus but I've had my one week of free messages and calls and I had really used them, wholeheartedly. It was my first birthday bonus as I was using another package of Celcom number and I never get the privilege to be rewarded with such bonuses before.

If I had to count back, I've spent almost 9 hours talking on the phone for the past one week and I'm fortunate to have myself singing up for this number for more than three month before my birthday to get myself enjoying this. Not to mention SMSes I sent to my friends in the list. And it's equivalent to free RM100 for a week! Or, maybe more.

I wonder how I get to talk so much on the phone even though this week was so packed that even the time was not enough for me to finish what more important for me to do in the first place. God is great, but human is never satisfied.

Now with all the assignments have been done, I thank God for granting one of my birthday wishes and I'm hoping to get a good marks for all the assessments done. The only thing to focus now is the final exam. Huh, so scary.

Oh man, I feel bored now with many friends to talk to but I don't want to use my newly-reloaded phone credit just to talk the same things over and over again. Lol.

Ring ring!
(^_^)

Faceless Illusion

Oooh..How my fanatical moment strikes again. I remember it was during primary school when I was really fanatic over boy bands. Uww.. Not necessarily to mention any of the boy bands but let me give just the hints; with millions of fans, one of them turns g.a.y, one of them had scandal with the world's problematic heiress, one of them had different style of hair and fingernails (oh my). Despite all the controversies, I was all blinded with my fanatical thought of good-looking guys and do anything just to get my hands on their latest records.

Then, in high school, my fanatical form evolved as I grown up. I'm more to headbanging music, something with the electric guitar, bass and definitely; drum! How I love to be a drummer in my own band, play the song I wrote myself and if I have the voice I would have become the singer myself (the dream is still on. haha).

I didn't care about those scrap books I had for the jiwang boys anymore, no more slow and sentimental songs in the floppy diskette I bought just to store the teary rhythms of theirs. I don't mind of giving my precious lyric books to anyone like before, as I can memorize songs easily once I get the lyric of a song at once.

I even woke up late at night just to tune in to my favourite (was) radio and send a request to my favourite DJ to play the songs that I love at the moment, even though I have listen to it few times earlier. Well, on air, I can dedicate the song and record myself talking to the DJ into blank cassettes I took from my father. Note that I called the radio station without my parents consent. Hehe.

I've been in love with English songs when I was still small. I didn't speak English during my childhood but I could sing and remember the lyrics of songs. I made my English teacher in primary school as my idol when I heard her speak English fluently on the phone. At the moment, I think I had generated my thoughts that I wanna speak other language other than my mother tongue.

My initial trials in speaking English was through calling English radio station. It felt great! I even had addiction to stay up late at night and silently went to the phone and dialled the station number. It was an achievement for me to remember at least 3 radio station numbers and to mention them in speed. Whoa!

Now, I am a twenty-year old girl (or should I say a woman?) whose the addiction has never fade. I still feel of calling the DJs again, but as the time goes by I rarely listen to them and when I have the chance, they were no longer there, either retire or transfer to another station, I don't have any idea. To be exact, I enjoy being twenty, as I am free to do what I want, accordingly.

And, I don't remember where I put all the classic stuffs I had for the flowery boys before. It could have been thrown away by the occupants at my old home. Who cares. Haha. But I still care about my Breaking Benjamin records I have and the same goes to other rock bands stuffs I collected. (^_^)

No more floppy, diskettes and scrap books. Goodbye folks! :-)

Off the Record

She's dialing the same number over and over again. "No, I can't do this", she said. But, still, her fingers linger at the same name in her phonebook. She was in the room, alone and bore herself by browsing the same websites every day. No updates about herself, but her inbox is full with messages from unknown people, and sometimes the same person keeps on sending messages even though she doesn't really have time to reply to those texts.

She presses the dialled numbers again. This time she is sure enough of what she's doing. Calling him in the middle of the night and wait, she burst out in tears. Free calls for one week really saved her from doing anything silly. She's couldn't take it any longer.

The more she takes it, the stronger she will be.

Full stop.

Less is More

This year seems to be my hibernating year from celebrating my own annual celebration. I wasn't really in my mood to celebrate it though. This is all because of u Mr. A! huhu.. Wah, so emo. Haha.

I was completing my work when I got the first call from the person who thought he was the first person to wish me. He called me 2 hours early as he thought it's time already and become among the earliest people to wish me. Couldn't blame him though. It's Adib!!! He's calling me directly from Portsmouth, UK!! I was so happy since we didn't get the chance to meet at all last raya since he had to fly over there on the third day of Raya itself.

We talked for over twenty minutes on the phone, and it felt like it was just a minute. The first international call I ever received on my birthday. I was more than a happy girl on the phone, excitedly talk and talk and talk. He was excited too, waiting to call me so he can be the first person from far to wish me. That's so cute. And he sang me the song too! Sweeet...

Too bad we can't talk any longer on the phone. He needs to save bha.

Ring ring! Wait, another call. It's Lutfi! I picked up and he asked me to wait for a sec. Then,

I had a group of boys singing me HB song!

Lutfi asked his housemates to sing along and they sang to me twice! They're pretty good. Just couldn't stop laughing and smiling all night long thinking how excited were they for me, by the time I decided not to celebrate anything this year. Well, they are happy for me, why shouldn't I be doing the same?

However, I had my mood restored when I got them; lots of phone calls, text messages, and even presents! Oh, how I love prezzies.... Who won't?

ESPECIALLY THEM;

Tadaa! What's inside?


This!!
A very cute Pooh with a little red heart.
And he sings too!
Love it.. (^_^)



And I got this too! Not the mobile phone for sure, it's the bling-bling for my phone. Nice huh..


Thanks a lot roomie and soulmie!!
Really had made my day..

"You're not getting older, you're getting better"
"May this day bring u happiness as much as u give to everyone who knows u"

They're just wishes, but it gives me non-stop smiles for the whole day!


And this one is a good one;


"Wrinkles coming soon!"

Please don't come, can or not?
(^_~)


And thanks a lot too everyone!

With Love

Let's turn Blogger into Facebook for a while.

Great day even though kinda tied with lotsa assignmentsss!

Thanks for all the wish!!!

:-)

The Hardest Part

Another one hour before the countdown by the time I started to type this. Do I really do the countdown? Not really, just worried over the word count, oh yes. The minutes seem to pass with the speed of a person who would just do the hit-and-run, fast and furiously, and drift away from us. However, the time is not in any competitions. It passes like the flow of the water, sometimes heavily flushing down from the water tap, sometimes like drops of tears; slowly and calming.

Unlike me. Err, us. Having to do a lot of work does get me weary. Inside out. Physically, I looked like a girl who would never moved if a bomb is thrown nearby (choi choi), but deep inside I'll be the one and first to step away even to hear a safety pin drops hundred miles away. I'm not being relaxed, not blaming the nature I have in me, instead, being thankful to be born this way.

Sometimes I couldn't pick up my own words, more to say to analyse other people's words. And the analysis is not the first opinion that I have in mind (of course I can't tell what's on my mind), troubling me to filter everything before I could make them in black and white.

Time says; don't let me pass without using me properly, please.

I say;
No, I won't. I'll try to use you wisely (the conscious side)

and crossing my finger;
I can do whatever I want! (the other side of me)

I'm sorry, TIME.

Time says again;
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone.

I do, now.

The Sanctuary

It was supposed to be an enjoyable day for the girls of PGL. Well, been waiting for two hours for a very important person who were not be able to come and even the president of the block was not informed about the absentee of that particular V.I.P, who wouldn't get boiled especially when everything is all done particularly for the event, with few setting-ups have been made mainly for this one-day-only-in-a-year event.

Let's just say that everything we plan is not necessarily be carried out accordingly. I must admit that I was quite bothered about what happened earlier on today. It feels like a mass killing of the poor Mr. Time waiting for something that could make us disappointed. Hmm, we were. However, I'm thankful that I didn't come to my boiling points when such thing happened. I could have done my essay in the period of time. Or better, I could have taken a nice nap in the afternoon today. Why not, the weather is fine and dandy.

October 23, 2007 | my room

The hostel open day is a common tradition here. I've been celebrating and following this tradition for three consecutive years and I never get tired of it. I love receiving guests and serve them. The same thing I like to do - paying people a visit. When I do visiting, I might be a little quiet at first but eventually, everybody seems to be like a long lost friend. Funny, when we don't even know some of them, more to say we know their names, we entered their room and acted like an honorary guest, being served with lotsa food and many types of drinks, even with muka-tak malu attitude asking for air tambah, just imagine.

October 8, 2008 | my room

Other people especially the super juniors seemed to enjoy this tradition. Well, I know that feeling. Haha. So, there's no reason why I must not enjoy this. With the stress from doing the assignments and other academic things, my getaways are doing things I really in favour of. The simple example of it is doing cleaning and tiding up my place. I could be fussy about my belongings, so do what I think about others. Mess is really my worst enemy. I couldn't continue my work if my mind starts to think that my place is in mess, even though they're not. I would do something about it, tiding them up, looking at them again and again till I have the satisfaction then I'll sleep. Haha, no la, just kidding. I'll be free from the thoughts of a stray mind and stop worrying over trifles, about an unfolded t-shirt that stops me from doing my work for hours.

I'll be missing this tradition a lot since we're not gonna have it again, if we have the chance to fly next year. InsyaAllah. It might be open day everyday there, and it will not be the same with whatever we have here anymore.

Therefore, I'm gonna make full use of what we have over here, enjoy wholeheartedly and appreciate them. The ukhuwwah that built among us no matter we are senior or junior or super junior is much more important than envying the others who get to sleep.

October 2, 2009 | our room.

Alhamdulillah..
:-)

Neither New York Nor Hollywood

Hey hey.. This virtual pen finally writes again. Was running out of ink for quite some time, wasn't it? Well, I was b.... Hmm.. Don't want to mention that "B" word again. For those who know that, please don't kill those who don't have any idea what was that. These two weeks have really been a long but short time for me. What an irony. It was unbelievable thing for the first week how I managed to survive with piles and piles and piles of texts to write and read. And again, I don't want to mention the word "A". Let this post be a happy one without the words. Lol.

Wait, second week? Hey, it's EID UL FITRI! It wasn't a long and ample holiday to celebrate the day but I had a great time at my mother's hometown. Looking back, I thought I would never go back this raya but Allah is great, He granted my wish at the last precious minutes. Alhamdulillah. Having a large number of family members waiting for the last family member to arrive, worrying and keep on asking when are you gonna arrive home even though you are just a few minutes away more to go, and to be welcomed home by them who we have not seen for so long, more to say them who we never met, and to see those people we love the most, waiting for this lone ranger to arrive home safely - an unimaginable and unthinkable feeling I had on the day I arrived.

I forgot all my sorrow when I looked at them who share the same blood ties with me. They are my family. A very big family. Not to forget them who are now happier with the presence of our new family members. And the family is now getting bigger and bigger as the time goes by.

Days before Raya, we had the Majlis Khatam Al-Quran at the masjid.


Nights before Raya, our ordered kek lapis arrived


With happy face from Kuching,


I flied off to Kota Bharu, Kelantan,


So sad there are no home-made cookies this year.. :(


The next day was the Raya day and the theme should be all maroon, but I can only see half maroon over there


Nevermind, we looked colourful and that's better..


My lovely great grandmother who can still remember each and everyone of us.. Alhamdulillah..


He is my twin brother. But we both born on different year. I don't care. We are twin. =P


We were once said twins before. Now you can tell which one is me and which is not aite? Haha


The blue family of my uncle, auntie and close cousin.


I wonder why I didn't wear the same dinglings brooches as they do.


Kiddy cousins! They called my Kak Ellie. Spank you kiddos! Where did you get the name from?? Huhu


More Raya photoshoots on their way. But I forgot to take the one we took using Ayoh Bee's camera. Haiya.. Now I don't have the picture I took with my new auntie, Cik Jaa..

Xper2.. Sambung lagi;

2 days before the holidays ended, I got to break my 9-month fast of A&W. And it feels GREAT!!


Oh ya, and this year I am accompanied by the newly bluey eyes.. Hehe


It is never too late to wish this aite?
"SELAMAT HARI RAYA"
to everyone..

(^_^)